Well, I didn't expect for you to oblige me so quickly. :-)

Have you read this book? I found it extremely helpful in processing my feelings about my family.

"Why Do I Love These People?": Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family – Po Bronson

Although you have already had the biggest realization. That the relationship only existed when you did all the work and were the " Eternal Giver". That the relationship meant little or nothing to them.

Because when you stopped giving and working at it. There was no relationship.

It was an illusion.

I liked like the line "we who are shunned must have other circles". It sounds like a great opening line for a novel or a poem.