The moment of epiphany, when the scales fall from our eyes and we can truly see reality. That moment sets us free and gives us choice.

Once you "see" your relationship with your family based on their actions, instead of their words. As you say, everything suddenly becomes a cohesive narrative and all of the "disconnects" are resolved.

It can be a painful process. Particularly if you realize, as I did, that they never really wanted you around in the first place. That you were "tolerated", never loved.

As painful as it can be. It also liberates you and unchains you from them. You can walk away now without any lingering guilt or sense that if you "tried harder" things might get better.

Step back from them. If you are important to them, they will reach out to you. If they don't, never look back.

Your life and your time here is your most precious gift. Don't waste it on people who are not worthy of your time.