I would either mention Asians as a group before the conclusion or leave them out. This is humor, you don't have to be rigorously inclusive.

That would let you tighten up the ending.

And yes, I would rework it. I usually rework my stuff for a few days after I post it. The piece you read yesterday has been reworked. I think it's better now.

Writing is a craft, craftsmanship is important.