I think I see what you mean. You are "reframing" the event in your mind so that your focus isn't on why it happened and blaming yourself.

Instead you are imagining an outcome that you wish had happened. Thinking about the steps/events to make that outcome possible becomes a "learning/planning" experience and builds a sense of control.

You stop blaming yourself for a past you cannot change and make a "plan" or a scenario for what you would do if it happens again.

OK, I see it. It sounds like you are making progress.