Ed, this is a minor point on your presentation. It's the same one I'm going to give Lannie.

Break up your text. It will improve readability.

Notice how I tend to short two sentence paragraphs. Never more than four. There's a reason for that.

You are building your argument point by point; plank by plank.

You want to create a staccato burst series of ideas in your readers minds. Pop. Pop. Pop.

You frame your points with "negative space" or line breaks. Something to visually consolidate each point.

BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

If you do that, if you run, on and on and on without pause or break why your text becomes as dense as Finnegan's Wake.

The ideas hit them as a flow and before the last can consolidate it gets washed into the next so that it becomes a form of word stew message and the point you are trying to make gets hidden like a needle in a haystack.

Quick, without looking, what are the two words bracketing my “message”.

See what I mean?

Your content is great. If you tweak your presentation it would be 20X stronger.